Below are the good folks who have been such asshats, they ended up on my list of people who I'd like to lock on a train just before I send it crashing off a cliff. The numbers are meaningless, just a way to identify the loser(s) who piss. me. off.
(Well, crap. Apparently I signed up with Twitter as death_wish_list. And apparently I need to add myself to this list just for being such a fucking sheep. Anyhoodle, if you need a rant in 140 characters or less, get thee to Twitter to see whom I'm killin' off.) -----------------------------------------------------------------------
82. Dear Johnny Depp,
WHAT THE HOLY FUCKOLY IS WRONG WITH YOU???
Because that's so fucking heinous it makes me sick.
Sincerely,
Deathwina, aka Your Former Fan
p.s. I dare you to let Roman Polanski babysit your kids.
81. Watched RocknRolla this past weekend. Why didn't any of you tell me about Mark Strong? Do you hate me? Do you want my list of faux boyfriends to stagnate? Do you want to end up on my death wish list???
Seriously. It's like I don't even know y'all anymore. ;p
80. New Year's resolutions that should be on many, many, many lists:
*No more wearing skirts or pants or shorts whose waistbands are so tight they create muffintops. I don't care what your body fat percent is, it looks ridiculous and gross to have your fat hanging over your waistband.
*Ditto on pantylines. Thongs and g-strings are a lot more comfortable than you may think. Learn to wear them and avoid the pantylines.
*Women will shorten their pants enough to let their feet peek out. The overly long pants that create the illusion of having no feet is fucking creepy. Bonus: people will see the expensive shoes you spent money and time picking out.
*Men who adjust their dicks in public should stop it. I don't know if it's a primal thing or maybe no one told them it's creepy, pervy and downright weird but stop it. Or, at the least, don't do it in front of me.
*Men should wear their pants at their waistlines. Droopy pants that hang down and show underwear and/or asscrack totally defeat any attempts you're making at looking cool and/or sexy (but especially the asscrack thing. <--see what I did there? "but" and "asscrack"....oh shut up, that was funny. ;p ). That is so seriously gross (you, too, ladies. No more wearing pants that are too low for you to bend over) I can't even begin to tell you how disgusted people are when they see it.
79. Sears. The rant would be too long so just trust me; Sears goes on the train.
78. I have long held the belief that Charlie Sheen is a complete and total douchebag towards the women with whom he is romantically involved. Further, his douchebaggery is well documented in the tabs (even if you discard 90% of what has been written, he's still a fuck up.) so I have zero sympathy for any of the women who fuck/date/marry him. Those women need to reread #65 on this list. Because seriously, if someone is willing to enter into a sexual/romantic relationship with Charlie Sheen, she's as big a fuck up as he is.
77. People who tailgate the car in front of them should be tortured. People who tailgate the car in front of them at night should be tortured for the rest of their life.
76. On a friendly sidenote, to my constant amusement, DWL is getting to be quite the international website. People from all over the world are wandering over (lately Moscow, Beijing and Paris (France, not Texas) are in a race to see who can visit the most. And who knew so many Canadians would drop by? I guess that "super nice manners" thing is just a cover up. *winks at Tallie* ) and it fills my teenytiny heart with joy to know I'm not the only weirdeaux who has an odd sense of humor.
Anyhoo, regardless of where you're from, welcome. Bitching and profanity are accepted. Spitting and not using coasters under drinks are not. That's pretty much it on rules and regulations.
75. To all the people who tell me I'm "too pale" and I "need to get a tan", just fuck off. I don't tell you your self tanner is too orange and streaky or that your sun damaged skin looks awful. So, do yourself a favor and leave my pale skin alone. Otherwise, I'll shove a bottle of sunscreen down your fucking throat.
